SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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