Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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