is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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