He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
