If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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