I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
