Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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