I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
