She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
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Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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