dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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