I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
