I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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