You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
