I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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