it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
