There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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