his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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