I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
