I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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