oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
