his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
