dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
