I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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