No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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