Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
