Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
