Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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