Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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