Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
