we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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