If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
