In the future we'll all be gay
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I need to align my fucking chakras
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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