I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
