U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
