apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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