I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize