It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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