For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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