$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
