I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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