Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize