With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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