Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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