We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize