We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
