Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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