there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
