is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
