I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
