I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
