Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
What a dumb baby whore.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
