she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hello my rib-scented angel!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize