My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this will be a night to untag.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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