I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
