We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
