He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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