grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We got so high we made milksteak
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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